This pandemic must end someday, and on that day, I pledge I will change my 1978 Tom Petty concert T-shirt. Though there have been many health warnings from the CDC about this unhygienic behavior, I pledge I will keep my shirt on until my head is bloodied but unbowed in the face of all alerts.
Genghis Khan did not always wear a clean tunic, and he conquered half the world. Alexander the Great’s T-shirt had to get brutally funky under his breastplate. When he started to lose a battle, he could throw his dirty T-shirt into the melee and everyone would scatter in terror.
One day, all the world will be vaccinated. On that glorious day, I will wait, shirtless, by the dryer until my shirt is crispy, warm and ready to wear.
