Happy second COVID Halloween! This holiday only comes once a pandemic year, so make it count.
Good work ordering your children’s costumes early because of supply chain breaks. Now the question for last year’s fortune-teller-costumed parent is, “Will the post office continue to deliver mail?”
You didn’t order the costume early? Well, maybe your child can sprint down the sidewalk yelling, “Zoom!” and circle back to ask you for snacks every five minutes. You can always answer, “You’re on mute!”
I’m sorry you won’t be invited into the school for the classroom parties. Maybe you can peek in through an open window that airs out the virus and see the locked classroom door that keeps out active shooters.
Remember when our parents were worried about needles in the candy? Now we can only hope for the vaccine shot. Or maybe a do-good neighbor will give out rapid COVID tests you can sell since you lost your job during the pandemic. Didn’t that one family recently travel to Europe where they give out rapid tests like health insurance? Can someone give me their phone number?
You can always stay in and host a Halloween movie screening night with your littles. What a money-saver to avoid the movie theaters, especially for a large family! You just have to pay to stream a new movie on the service you already pay for, and then pay for the pizza, delivery fee and the additional fee that’s built into the first fee because of the tax on the last customer’s fee.
Next year you won’t need to wear masks or carry coats. Rapid climate change will keep it warm all fall. And winter. And spring. And summer. Sexy Halloween costumes, here we come! The night might be lit by wildfires, too.
Halloween isn’t the end of 2021’s horrors. Did you register to vote yet? Your voice matters. Get involved today! Have you chosen a Secret Santa? Start shopping to avoid those supply chain delays. Also, please respond immediately to the PTO email about volunteering at the blood donation. We heard you hoarded masks, gloves and toilet paper, so please bring those. The school is out.
We sincerely wish you a very happy Second COVID Halloween! Be sure to wash the costumes in time for Day of the Dead cultural appropriation parties on the wrong day the following weekend.
