It feels like every day brings a new, unimaginably huge disaster – some new variant in this endless pandemic, a return to anxiety about nuclear war, the continual drumbeat of climate change and how it’s almost too late to stop the worst effects. Like many people, I lie awake most nights, racked with debilitating worry about the planet, future generations, and how humanity can possibly maintain the continued integrity of Magic: the Gathering releases.
Obviously, we must stay strong in our support of Ukraine and prevent further Russian aggression. The war spreading would be disastrous; many Magic products are still printed in Europe, and we cannot afford another slowdown in production. When the pandemic delayed Jump/Start, the price of Bruvac the Grandiloquent spiked to over $80 – and don’t even talk to me about the Allosaurus Shepherds and Craterhoof Behemoths you need for any good green deck. I say never again – we must stop Putin’s juggernaut before he threatens the great printing presses of Poland and the Czech Republic. Our very civilization depends on it.
We must also act decisively on climate change, and quickly. Our politicians should be prioritizing decarbonizing our economy, enhancing the Paris Climate Agreement, and working to protect our precious biosphere. After all, if we continue to drive tropical species to extinction, then Wizards of the Coast will never be inspired to make more cards for my Sloth Tribal deck. No, we cannot stand idly by and let the world collapse around us. We must work hard, and we must work together, to ensure the timely release of New Capenna, featuring demonic crime bosses and slick 1920s-style Art Deco themes.
Thankfully, it seems like we’re finally starting to figure out COVID-19. It will become routine: get a booster shot every year, stay home when you’re sick, and check the pandemic forecast before traveling. New waves will come and we’ll have to mask up again. But my local game store has finally installed air filters and, for the first time in years, I’m confident I won’t miss a midnight pre-release tournament again. I’m beginning to dare to dream that Double Masters 2 will arrive on-time and I’ll be able to finish foiling out my cEDH land-destruction deck. I already own all the cards, you see; just not the shiny versions.
Of course, I’m still unsettled. I build new decks, then take them apart again before I can even play them. The end of the world seems right around every corner. What if NASA discovers a comet on an impact course? That could delay the next Secret Lair Astrology Drop. Some new supercharged wildfire or hurricane could cancel the upcoming Commander Legends / Dungeons & Dragons crossover event. Even worse, some strain of killer AI could commandeer my Magic: Arena account and squander my collection of Mythic Wildcards.
These are truly difficult times, and we’re going to have to rely on each other to get through. We don’t know what’s coming next – for all I know it could be yet another return to the city-plane of Ravnica, which, let’s be honest, absolutely no one wants. All I know is that we need to survive. In times like these, I take heart in thinking about the diverse people from all walks of life who will band together to defeat the evil, oil-soaked technocrats threatening the world.
I’m referring, of course, to the plot of Dominaria United, due to be released Q3 2022 – but only if we can keep our shit together that long!
And hey, they might reprint fetchlands. That would be something worth living for.
