DEPARTMENT OF INTERNAL REVENUE SYSTEMS
Issue Date: June 7, 2022
Please refer to the following number when making inquiries: 97000984
Dear MAMA FRATELLI,
The Department of Internal Revenue Systems has received and processed your application for Social Security benefits. You have been determined to be ineligible for this program due to the reason(s) listed below:
Legal name MAMA does not match records associated with the Social Security number you provided.
Insufficient evidence that you exercise parental control and responsibility for SLOTH FRATELLI. As stated in previous correspondence dated APRIL 9, 1992, JULY 3, 1995, SEPTEMBER 1, 1996, FEBRUARY 1, 1998, JANUARY 9, 1999, MAY 30, 2000, AUGUST 20, 2001, SEPTEMBER 13, 2004, APRIL 14, 2005, JULY 28, 2007, OCTOBER 8, 2008, DECEMBER 13, 2009, MARCH 19, 2010, MARCH 2, 2011, MAY 28, 2012, JUNE 5, 2013, NOVEMBER 17, 2014, FEBRUARY 4, 2016, JULY 19, 2017, APRIL 8, 2018, JUNE 9, 2019, NOVEMBER 12, 2020, and MARCH 7, 2021, the parental control and responsibility over Mr/Ms. SLOTH FRATELLI, which began in OCTOBER 1985, continues to remain within the legal oversight of LAWRENCE ‘CHUNK’ COHEN.
Insufficient evidence that FRANCIS FRATELLI remains disabled due to GROIN INJURY RESULTING FROM SLIP IN 1985, thereby excluding Mr/Mrs. FRATELLI from being within your parental control and responsibility.
Employer Details, Last 2 Years: The employer listed on your application, THE LIGHTHOUSE LOUNGE has not been a legal entity since approximately 1984. Please resubmit an employer and employer address within the last two years, along with earnings from this year and last year.
Self-Employment Details, Last 2 Years: The Internal Revenue Systems has not received tax filings for the business type listed on your application: FINANCIAL DOCUMENT REPRODUCTION.
Disability Evaluation, Listing of Impairments: You did not submit objective medical evidence that you suffer from MUSCULOSKELETAL DISORDERS due to your FALL AFTER WALKING THE PLANK. You did not submit sufficient evidence, as previously requested, to describe the location of indicated injury as THE INFERNO.
The amount of money estimated in next year’s earnings: SALE FROM BLENDER AND JEEP CHEROKEE XJ does not qualify as employment earnings.
You have the right to appeal the decision made by Internal Revenue Systems if your request for benefits was denied. You must submit a request for either a hearing with an administrative judge or resubmit for reconsideration within a sixty (60)-day timeframe.
Hearing request forms can be found on our website or requested using our automated system.
Please keep a copy of this letter for your records.
Sincerely,
Internal Revenue Systems
Social Security Benefits Bureau
Mama,
You would normally not receive a personal note from anyone at Internal Revenue Systems, and I appreciate your discretion in what I’m about to say. I have been on staff here for 21 years and have 1.25 years left before I retire. I’d like nothing more than to help you out to get the benefits for which you’ve been applying for the last several decades, but mostly I wish to assist you because I can’t close your account in my queue unless you move forward with the appeal or cease applying for benefits. We have attempted, numerous times, to advise you to re-submit correct information or appeal, but have not received either correcting action.
I encourage you strongly to get some professional tax or legal assistance to move forward with your inquiries and receive your benefits. I have an acquaintance who might be able to help you, but this person likes to work confidentially, so it’s vital that this exchange and recommendation is not discovered. Please do exactly as I say so that both you and I can wrap this up: call the 1-800 number at the top of the enclosed form and ask for Jim S. on this exact date at this exact time (I will plan my lunch break around this plan): Monday, September 14, 2022 at 11:30 a.m. Please don’t forget this. I marked it on my calendar, and please, again, keep this to yourself.
James F. Sveyers
Account Clerk Supervisor II
Internal Revenue Systems
Social Security Benefits Bureau