“The path for professional actors has shifted considerably over the last decade. In the past, we prepared students for careers on Broadway. Now, it’s Marvel movies, so we gotta get them jacked as fuck.” – Dr. Samual Bettencourt, Juilliard Dean of Students.
When pressed on the motivation for the change, Dr. Bettencourt explained, “All casting directors care about today is how much the actor can deadlift.” We spoke with Los Angeles-based casting director Susan Greenman, who explained that it’s more complicated than that. “The shift is purely economic. CGI-ing washboard abs can easily push a project over budget. It just makes financial sense to find people who are already yoked, even if they don’t have acting experience. At the end of the day, acting is just reading anyway.”
Dr. Bettencourt has big plans for the new initiative. “In the fall, we’re bringing in a full-time roids guy I met in an LA Fitness locker room.”
Juilliard alum Oscar Isaac is in full support of the shift in curriculum. “I wasted a lot of years slumming it in Coen Brothers’ movies and bullshit like that. Now that I got my body right, I’m bookin’ all kinds of superhero shit. Gettin’ paid and gettin’ laid. That’s what this is all about!”
