When I moved from New York City to San Francisco in 2015, the avalanche of clichés was immediate: crystals and climbing and start-ups, oh my! All harmless and none surprising, there was only one that got my goat: astrology. I thought that fad had passed with the Summer of Love and died with the advent of algorithms, so I was taken aback by the daily inquiry: “What’s your sign?”
At parties! At work! At the doctor — the doctor! It was the world against me, an intellectual, eager to engage with “Yes, I’m a Capricorn” but hot to point out “No, that isn’t real.” “That’s exactly what a Capricorn would say,” boiled my blood; I couldn’t believe these otherwise sensible people could espouse such unprovable hooey — and I would tell them so.
That didn’t go over so well. The soft souls of California tolerate neither harsh winters nor harsh criticisms and tend to avoid the unpleasant — and those who perpetrate it — with a swift, subtle exit. And why shouldn’t they? Confrontation has no place in this wide-open land of strawberries and sunshine. Like the ubiquitous fat squirrels and invasive flora, Californians revel in thriving and have no need to engage with imposed constraints.
Of course, there are still social systems here. But rather than yelled from a deli line, California Rules are implied with a roundabout language that’s as gentle as its balmy February days. In place of New York City’s “Fuck you” we see California’s “Your Gemini is showing.” “You want to fuck?” becomes “I knew you were a Leo — I’m always drawn to Leos.” Points are made while egos are left unscathed — an impossible duality for the straight-to-the-chase New York tongue.
So, after a long, self-righteous resistance, I now accept that astrology is neither fact nor fortune, but the language of the people in the land I love. I find myself offering my sun sign before my first name, blaming a friend’s lateness on the stars rather than her life-long reluctance to look at a clock. As a Capricorn, the concession isn’t easy — but it’s certainly easier than another winter in New York.
