There are two things I know to be true about White Lotus.
- It’s written by Survivor runner-up Mike White
- I haven’t seen any of it
I personally don’t think either of those facts should stop me from pitching exactly how season 3 should go. Season one took place in the exotic locale of BLANK (Note to self, remember to look up where this took place). Then season two took place in the beautiful BLANK (look this one up too. Both are probably on the wiki). With two great resorts already featured, there’s only one place left for the show to book for its upcoming third season (make sure it wasn’t canceled).
That place, obviously, is the beautiful AND exotic Nickelodeon Resort in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. Picture it, big stars like Adrian Brody or Julia Roberts not only doing prestige TV but getting drenched in green slime right before they can identify the killer loose on the island (that’s what happens right? A murderer stalks rich people? That’s gotta be close enough).
Awkafina (has she already been in this?) whispers a dark secret to Morris Chestnut without realizing her ex-boyfriend is right behind them eavesdropping in a Spongebob costume. Hell, the Paw Patrol could even be first responders once bodies wash up on the beach. It’s cinematic small-screen perfection!
Maybe even the person who pitches it gets to go to the resort, just for having such a good idea. Yeah, whoever suggested it first gets an all-inclusive paid trip where he gets to meet Jimmy Neutron in person. I don’t know, I’m just spit-balling here, but I think it’s what the fans would want.