Dear Sir,
I am delighted to submit my application for the position of your Second Wife. I am highly motivated to secure a rich husband and I believe you will find my tenacity to be utterly charming. I have over six years of experience dating wealthy, divorced men and understand your needs and desire to find a trophy wife.
Throughout my dating history, I have perfected the art of making small talk at parties and acting as the ideal hostess. I will impress your work colleagues with my decorating prowess and my knowledge of fine arts and wine, while being careful not to share my opinions on important topics traditionally reserved for men, like politics or cars. I am willing to go the extra mile, even if it means flirting with or lightly fondling your superiors to ensure your big promotion.
I have standing hair and nail appointments (which you can now pay for) during Monday Night Football and can make myself scarce for most major sporting events. Despite being significantly younger than you, I detest babies so I will not be a threat to your teenage children. I will, however, be a threat to your first wife and drive her mad with my short dresses, legs for days, and award-winning cleavage.
Please take a moment to review my attached resume, credentials, and ring size. I assure you there is no woman better suited to spend your money. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Let’s make beautiful music together.
Sincerely,
Lisa
