This city was once my identity. My everything. My roots have grown deep in its streets ever since I moved here a year and a half ago to start my job as a Marketing Technologist in Charge of Web Analytics and Development of UX for SEO and Growth at the tech start-up, SPLTZ. When I showed up, it was a hub of culture and life. But ever since my ultra-wealthy friends and I moved here it’s like it’s become soulless. Just our luck.
First off, there is trash everywhere. I started buying up homes and turning them into profitable vacation rentals about six months ago and when I bought the unit below me and evicted the family that was living there, they left 30 years’ worth of heirlooms and belongings on the street. All because they “had nowhere else to go.” I mean, really. Clean up after yourself. Take some pride in your city. I don’t care what you do with your husband’s urn, lady, but you can’t just leave it here on the sidewalk.
The problem is that all the things I once loved in this city have shut down. It seems like ever since SPURTX moved their office down the street, that’s been happening a lot. It’s like these so-called business owners are afraid of success. My favorite bar had been on the same corner since the ‘70s and it had to close its doors because the owner couldn’t keep up with the rent ever since he got hit and then repeatedly run over by a self-driving car that my company has been developing. He shouldn’t have been in the crosswalk. And he certainly shouldn’t have been laying down in it when the car backed over him. That’s just a lack of self-awareness and it’s why he’s in a wheelchair now.
And don’t get me started on the filthy, disgusting homeless. They’re all just drug addicts who like being out on the street. They’re the reason I have to test my cocaine. When I first got here, I could trust any baggie I shoved under my nose but not now. Now I have to watch out for Fentanyl? As if I didn’t have enough on my mind wandering through the maze of drugged-out losers on my way to ketamine therapy.
So, that’s it. I’m heading somewhere that hasn’t been completely ruined by me and my rich friends yet. Somewhere I’ve never been with a good, working-class neighborhood that I can move to and call the cops on anyone who looks like they don’t belong. It’s too late for this place. It’s been ruined and I have no idea why. Maybe Austin will be different. I’ve heard there’s a lot of cheap housing there.
