Bath & Body Works today announced its exclusive new line of back-to-school scented candles.
“Our new line of back-to-school scented candles was designed to make students and teachers happier through fragrance,” said CEO Gina Smellwell as her nostrils flared in happiness as she inhaled the new fragrances. “Although not yet verified by the Food and Drug Administration, there are strong indications that using these candles may increase student test scores by up to thirty percent.”
The new fragrances for this year include:
Liquid Paper Lilac
Pumpkin Spice Locker Room
Junior High School Body Odor Blueberry
Teachers Designated Smoking Area
Detention Mahogany and Brandy
Assistant Principal Strawberry Confusion
Don’t Sniff the Sharpie
Shop Teacher Marijuana Potpourri
Science Class Formaldehyde Forest Green
Lunchroom Mystery Meat Leftovers
Cheating on Test Cranberry
Substitute Teacher Bosom Blossom
