Hello loyal readers. This is Walt Braley, one of the two editors for this famous website. I wanted to take a fraction of your daily internet humor reading to make myself feel a little better by explaining why in the middle of September our posting consistency plummeted. This post is sincere and completely truthful. No jokes in this one.
In mid-September, I lived one of my many beautiful dreams and co-directed my first feature film. I’m not going to expound on that because I promise in a couple of months it’s all I’m going to post about. Then, the day after wrapping 2024’s inevitable best picture winner, my wonderful mother went to the hospital with a serious illness that is still ongoing. Not going to expound on that either and in a few months I still won’t be posting about it.
Now, just to clarify, neither of those major life events is what I am here to talk about. I can easily multitask and manage up to seven time-consuming tasks at once due to my years of experience managing multiple Forbes’s top 100 industrial companies. The real reason I have been slacking in my editorial duties is much darker.
See, almost two months ago, I received a submission for a fun satirical piece about National Cheeseburger Day (September 18th, look it up). It was a topical romp about made-up silly holidays and how many there are now (the 18th is also Water Monitoring Day and Rice Krispies Treats Day). There was a clever line about how the day ain’t big enough for the lot of them.
This made me picture a cowboy cheeseburger. An image so funny in theory that I’m adding a line break here so you can take a second to let all your own guffaws out.
———————————————————————————–
Yeah, it’s pretty good.
Anyways, I knew I wouldn’t be able to live in a world where the article exists but the picture doesn’t… so I tried to draw it. Then, I tried again. And again.
It was impossible. I don’t know if any of you have ever tried to draw a rusty Colt six-shooter or dill pickles, but I promise you neither are drawable by the human hand. I have been trying to draw this burger every day and every night. Finally, this morning, Halloween (a real holiday) tomorrow, I decided to throw in the towel.
Unbelievably, all was not lost (the original burger piece was though, no idea where that article is. I must have accidentally deleted it). I found a digital artist on a website called Fiver (not the vaccine company) who said he could do it using a computer program for only $250. So now, with this new cool Cheeseburger sheriff (I decided he’s an enforcer of the law in the lawless land he calls home), I’m ready to get back into the swing of things here at Robot Butt (the lawless land I call home).
