Yeah hat’s right, I’m the Plus Sign. You heard of me? The fucking Plus Sign? I’m fucking everywhere now. You can’t watch any damn content without clicking on some logo with me in it.
You probably hated me when you were a kid because when you saw me it meant you were about to do that lame-ass math bullshit like a nerd. And for that, I am sorry. I didn’t want to be some asshole who made you have to think about numbers real hard like that dickhead Division Symbol or that Fraction Sign fucker. Wow, you’re literally a dash meant to confuse people? Go fraction yourself, dickhead.
But I will say Multiplication did it right. Corporate collabs, like skating sneakers with 7-Up logos on them. Farm-to-table restaurants. Trucker hats by Versace AND Carharrt.
So I also got out of the math game and now I’m in the TV game. I’m on every network. Stream that, bitch.
Discovery? Yeah, motherfucker, I’m on that Discovery Plus shit. Boom. Paramount? Also hitting me up like I’m the golden goose. You like sports? Because if you’ve heard of ESPN+ – yeah, that’s me, baby! I’m staying on that pregame and postgame shit. You’re welcome, NCAA.
I hate to sound too cocky but, like, AppleTV+ and Disney+ are also riding my coattails. I’m basically the Kenny Powers of mathematical symbols. Every goddam streaming service wants a piece of my dick.
Hell, even BET called me up. And I’m gonna rep them hard as fuck. BET+ is streaming so much content you wouldn’t believe. It’s hitting as hard as a fist made of frozen concrete.
And let’s not forget, I also work with other marginalized communities. Yeah, the LGBTQ+ community. I’ll fucking go to bat for all those gorgeous queens and kings out there that want to live their lives how they want to live their lives. Because Plus Sign gives a fuck about everybody. Yes, I did just describe myself in the third person. And I’m sorry because that’s a number and we hate numbers because that’s like math and shit.
So, go watch some TV because your ding-dong existence ain’t adding up without me.
Alright, I’m gonna go raw dog the Exclamation Point. Suck on these orders of operations, y’all.
Plus Sign, out.
