1. The availability of Miss Elaine nightgowns has dwindled. How are women expected to keep the fire stoked without those polyester specials getting stuck in their ass cracks?
2. Women have their own bank accounts and aren’t at anyone else’s mercy. The ability to take care of themselves financially has selfishly blinded them to everyone else’s needs.
3. Amazon Prime and DoorDash have shredded marriages today. There is not one need that can’t be met by these two companies. In need of comfort and nourishment? Order yourself a giant tub of cheeseballs and some premium cloud fleece sweatpants two sizes too big.
4. Women are too ambitious. If a woman has a Ph.D., it will make a man’s dick fall right off.
5. Women know about sports. It has thrown off the universal balance of all that is sports ball. Society is collapsing.
6. Women own their own homes before marriage. The very act has emasculated men.
7. Women aren’t changing their last names. It has caused mass confusion, and no one can find their partner.
8. Women don’t smile enough. And when they are told to smile because it can’t be that bad, they scowl. The nerve.
P.S. It is in fact that bad out there.
9. The invention of yoga pants. Those tight-fitting, see-through pants are like catnip for men. They are responsible for all divorces in this country.
10. Society has told women they have choices when it comes to having children. But don’t worry about this one too much. The moral majority is back, baby!