We are so thrilled to take a VERY short break from appropriate remembrances to celebrate YOU, you big fucking stupid idiot. You had so many chores and other random inconveniences to take care of this weekend and you put them off completely because you thought you’d easily find time during the long weekend. It’s just one more day you moron!
You didn’t do them Friday night or Saturday, okay, that’s acceptable. We get it. But Sunday!? What did you do all day!? Now you have to do all of them today like a total scrub. Enjoy doing your dishes or whatever. I’m over here eating a damn hotdog and crying my eyes out at the thought of those we’ve lost in the line of duty, because I folded my fucking laundry yesterday.