Did you know, Fred and Wilma were the first American animated married couple, to be shown in bed together. I guess I’m telling you this, because a certain someone won’t answer my texts.
Did you know, that the car they drive in The Flintstones has a name? it’s called the Rockmobile, and it is completely powered by sheer inertia caused by the driver’s feet. The Rockmobile does lack many features of modern vehicles, like the 2019 Toyota Camry, that reads texts aloud to the car if you are using the Bluetooth.
Did you know, beautiful (and always loyal) Betty Rubble has a maiden name? It’s Betty McBricker. Despite the immense pressures put on her by raising her adopted son Bam-Bam, maintaining her career as a news-slab reporter, and caring for her bone-headed husband Barney, there is not one single frame of infidelity in the entire 166 episode run of The Flintstones. Which is dissimilar to my life, where there has been at least 166 messages exchanged with Hank. Maybe if I was a dino-crane operator, things would be different.
Did you know, both Barney Rubble and Fred Flintstone sport 5 o’clock shadows, despite the show never showing them shaving. An issue I don’t have to worry about because I can’t grow facial hair. My girlfriend has told me on multiple occasions that she loves my smooth face. Meanwhile, Hank has the most well-groomed beard I’ve ever seen. He must get a really tight shave with lobstersaurus scissors regularly.
Did you know, Fred and Wilma’s new baby, Pebbles, was added in season 3, episode 23? A fact I’ve mentioned numerous times to my girlfriend of three years and 23 months, who keeps saying she doesn’t want to have children until she’s married, despite the fact that I’ve proposed numerous times and she has always said no.
I love my girlfriend, but I’m worried that we won’t be able to come back from this… unlike how television juggernaut The Flintstones was able to come back time and time again, being ranked number two on TV Guide’s best animated series of all-time, only beaten by The Simpsons! It’s a lot like how I am ranked number two, only beaten by Hank.
Did you know, I’ve actually never seen The Simpsons. I’ve heard good things! I should pull up the Springfield Wiki…