OAK LAWN, Ill.—A fourth-generation Irish-American family saw their weekly gathering take an unexpected turn Sunday when attendee Walter McGlynn, 73, suddenly started to tell his daughter-in-law about this here while he thought of it.
“This here,” he added, after a pause. “From before.”
Sources now say that guests had been discussing rain gutters prior to the retiree’s interjection. “It’s always gutters or aluminum siding or something,” commented neighbor Edmund Kowalski. “On Sundays when I hear them out on the patio, it reminds me to take my back pill.”
It was during Walter McGlynn’s second pause that his longtime wife Fran McGlynn, 71, reportedly interjected, saying she knew the thing he was talking about, but that he had in fact confused it with something else entirely.
“You’re thinking about there in Sheboygan,” she said.
According to Kowalski, a now-lively Walter McGlynn told his wife that it was this here from before, rather than from there in Sheboygan. When the former school lunch monitor once more insisted that he was thinking about from when they were in Sheboygan, he answered that she wouldn’t know Sheboygan from the hole in her ass.
“In Frannie’s defense, there’s the city Sheboygan and also Sheboygan County,” Kowalski mused.
What unfolded in the moments that followed remains unclear, but witnesses agree that after a brief fracas, the soft din of pots and pans could be heard from inside the house as Fran McGlynn returned to the kitchen to avoid “[getting] bawled out some more”.
Recalled another neighbor: “That or to avoid ‘getting hollered at’.”
Walter McGlynn then addressed his remaining audience to tell about before. “In Sheboygan,” he began, then clarified: “Not Sheboygan. This here. That woman’s got me all shook up now.”
A final pause ensued, during which two attendees rationed the leftover Jello mold that Fran made for the coming week. At last Walter McGlynn concluded, “Hell, I forget.”
It is believed that Walter and Fran McGlynn kept no Jello mold for themselves, on account of Fran never making it with the sugarless mix despite being diabetic.
