While multi-tasking as a masseuse – give massage client ear plugs to mute callers’ screams of “Representative!!”
While taking a shower- tell caller that it’s raining pretty hard.
While breast-feeding – for male operators – While filling out fantasy football selections.
During oral sex- (all pronouns included) – place sock in mouth of pleasure-receivers for purpose of muting guttural sounds of joy. If operator is pleasure-giver, then learn ventriloquism.
During full-on fornication – partners socks- Bombas usually has some good deals online. Ocassionally remove sock to tell caller that you briefly lost the connection, speak a few words, then go back to business at hand. The s-e-x, of course.
While homeschooling your kids – teaching them “How to disconnect callers after they spent 30 minutes trying to get a human on the phone”, “Lack of empathy 101”, and “How to hack into callers’ bank accounts”.
While giving your suddenly unconscious grandfather CPR as you wait for EMS to arrive – re-engaged with caller after each exhale of air into gramps’s mouth – for those in grandpa’s will, don’t bother with CPR, or EMS for that matter.
While arguing with your significant other- caller can be asked to be neutral party arbiter of who is right and who is wrong.
While binging all 21 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy -or repeatedly stabbing your eyes with a fork.
While sitting on the toilet- C’mon, don’t act so high and mighty. The caller is probably on the bowl too.
