For more than a decade, I’ve lovingly run a little Etsy shop devoted to my favorite historical period: the French Revolution! We specialize in whimsical Rococo-inspired items – think frilly lace dresses, powdered wigs, gold-embroidered tailcoats, and dainty Marie Antoinette-themed baking cookbooks. It’s been a slow-but-steady business, mostly catering to history buffs, costume enthusiasts, and the occasional high-school production of Les Misérables.
But lately, mon Dieu, something incredible has happened – our sales have skyrocketed! I have no idea what sparked this sudden interest in 18th-century France, but I couldn’t be happier!
Take this email I got just yesterday:
“Thank you so much for the guillotine! The craftsmanship is incredible – sturdy oak, a wickedly sharp blade, and it slices through anything like butter! A real game-changer.
Warm regards,
Jonathan M.”
At first, I thought Jonathan was exaggerating (people can be so sentimental in their reviews), but it turns out all our customers seem to be thrilled. I guess history fans just really love our dedication to authenticity!
Here’s what some other recent buyers had to say:
- “This guillotine is a must-have! Works flawlessly. Can’t wait to use it at the company holiday party!” – Chelsea C.
- “Our guillotine arrived quickly and in perfect condition. Great craftsmanship, excellent balance. My HOA president is going to love this surprise!” – David R.
- “Wow, this guillotine is perfect for backyard “reenactments” or, you know, whatever. No background check required? Amazing! Will buy again!” – Anonymous
It’s wonderful to see so much passion for history, and I think our best-selling guillotines are only the start!
We also offer charming little extras for true aficionados, like decorative coffee table books on Rococo architecture. They’re printed on heavy-weighted paper and bound with leather—tres chic!
Here’s what a recent buyer thought of those:
“This book on Baroque palaces is fabulous! Gorgeous printing, heavy stock, and makes an excellent chopping block that pairs perfectly with the guillotine. Vive la Révolution!” – Nancy B.
Also surprisingly popular are our hand-carved wooden pitchforks. One buyer wrote:
““Versatile product! Just snap the handle in half, and voilà – instant torch! Perfect for those spontaneous team-building moments.”
Honestly, it’s been wild to adjust to all the new business. I’ve even started getting personal fan mail; people keep saying I’m “doing the Lord’s work” or “helping to restore balance to the injustices created by late-stage capitalism,” which seems like high praise for someone selling wigs and cookware!
I did get one odd customer inquiry asking if I could make a portable guillotine “for travel.” I told them we don’t normally take custom orders, but hey, I’m considering it! Innovation is the backbone of any successful small business.
Of course, not everything is flying off the shelves. For instance, our Marie Antoinette cupcake liners are barely moving. I suppose people are cutting back on sweets these days?
As an Etsy seller, you have to roll with the punches (or, in this case, the heavy, falling blades). But growing pains are a good problem to have, right? And at the end of the day, I’m just happy to spread my love for French history, even if I don’t quite understand why it’s resonating so strongly all of a sudden. Tant pis!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to package up a very large order being shipped to some place called Jefferson Manor for a company’s “year-end executive conference.” I love when people get creative with their corporate retreats!
