We know that if you’re reading this, you’re likely skimming in-between looking up at dubbed Squid Game or the new season of the hit reality competition series The Traitors. We want to make sure you know that we respect your time and appreciate your limited attention, so we’ve designed this funny listicle to be easily readable while still intaking other media.
Here’s the article:
10 Cereal Mascots Deemed Too Terrifying for Children
With the popularity of Frankenberry and Count Chocula, a number of other cereal brands thought the key to success was to come up with a horrifying character to promote their sugary breakfast to children.
10. The Thing’s Yummy Things – Kellog’s
Before finding icons like Tony the Tiger and Toucan Sam, Kellog’s took a wild shot by making a strange cereal that was basically only the non-marshallow parts of Lucky Charms. Even weirder, they picked the horrible shapeshifting monster from John Carpenter’s The Thing to be the cartoon artwork on every box. A big swing and bigger miss by the usually successful Kellog’s corporation.
9. – 6. Watch Your Show.
You can’t tell me you care about the back half of entries on any listicle you’ve ever read. Lock back in around 5 and you’ll be halfway done, just like that!
5. John Kramer’s Sawdust – General Mills in Partnership With Twisted Pictures
This Saw themed cereal was available a few different times between 2006 and 2014, usually coinciding with the release of a new Saw movie and always performing terribly due to the boxes having horrible body mutilation on the front of them.
4. – 2. Talk to the Person You’re with
Put your phone down for a second and say something to whoever is next to you on their phone. Maybe recommend this article. They’re going to ask what number one is for sure, so I’ll write that one.
1. Alien Gutbursters – General Mills
Technically just a repackage of Raisin Bran, General Mills sold this limited time version during the 80’s, claiming the raisins were “xenomorph eggs” and plastering the famous alien all over the packaging. It caused quite the controversy when one child who ate too much at once choked and almost died, as rumors spread far and wide that he had died when an alien burst out of his chest.