NEW YORK – We’ve gotten word that the infamous Bobby “The Girder” Sanders has come out of retirement, breaking his solemn vow to never return to the construction yard again. Sanders claims that he’s not planning to go back to working construction full-time and that this is just one last job.
Unfortunately for Sanders, when he retired the first time, he swore he was completely done with this life, and buried his tools in his basement before pouring the cement floor. Even his iconic sledgehammer was buried.
“I never thought I’d need these again. I was out, ya know. But then the damn city started repaving the road near the mall and seems to have no plans to finish it. They made it personal.” Sanders told our reporter.
With his sledgehammer buried under concrete, “The Girder” has had to get creative to break the cement and retrieve his tools.
“Yeah, I lucked out, honestly. I still have all my guns. I got a custom made assault rifle, silenced pistol, .50 cal sniper. You know, the basics. I’m thinking I’ll just open fire on my floor and break the cement until I can grab my tools.”
When asked why he has so many lethal firearms, Sanders said that he has been killing people for money consistently since long before he retired from construction, adding that the money was so much better that it was a major reason he retired in the first place.
