I’m writing this out into the void because I hope it will call back to me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I have tried everything.
I just don’t get Star Wars.
I read all the books, I have seen all the movies, and I even put 538 hours into Knights of the Old Republic, but I still don’t understand the appeal and why people like this expansive and fully realized universe so much.
I went to the Star Wars part of Disney World and talked to stormtroopers and also did that thing where they give you a personal lightsaber. It’s only been a few weeks since I went and I already only play with the lightsaber for about an hour every day.
I tried imagining myself as Anakin finally realizing his power when he executed Count Dooku at the command of Chancellor Palpatine, but I didn’t actually feel anymore powerful. To be fair, it probably could have been that my wife said that this isn’t the kind of roleplay she was imagining and her lack of commitment was distracting. She also said that she thought I would like the Leia bikini she was wearing, but I told her I don’t understand why people like Star Wars, so it didn’t really do anything for me.
We got into a really big fight about it because she thought I was a huge Star Wars fan and we haven’t touched each other in months, but I explained to her that actually I don’t think it’s for me. Then she said it was “crazy” that I would spend $20,000 on something that I’m not really that into. I said it’s important to explore things that people find interesting since they might align with your own interests. You have to be willing to try new things and max out a shared a credit card or you may never find a new hobby you like.
This has become a massive time sink for me, and it’s all I can talk about really. I tried knitting, but it just reminded me of when Gradlar told Pump Grubley that there aren’t any more units available in their Pisster stockyard. Which is clearly wrong since it was established in the previous book that units can’t run out in the Yurg nebula. It’s also not possible that Gradlar was lying to Pump Grubley since the comics show what happened in between the books and it’s revealed that Gradlar doesn’t know what lies are during the issue where Michael Jordan teaches him how to play Earth basketball.
I think the seventh book in the series is when I realized Star Wars might not be for me, but who knows, maybe the eighth book might have something cool. I mean, so many people like it that surely it’s because the 8th non-canon extended universe novella has something they loved.
Regardless, I need help. My therapist said that I am beyond saving like Anakin at the end of episode three, and that’s when I knew I’ve hit rock bottom. My only outlet now is hoping there might be an answer that us Earthlings don’t yet possess, and some extra-terrestrial might have an answer to my prayers. Please help me.
Formally,
George Lucas