Valentine’s Day Musings From a Drunken William Shakespeare 

"Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
Oh no! It is an ever fixed mark 
Therefore ignore my tattoo which bares the name of a former lover."

"My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love is deep, The more I give to thee,
Your heaving bosom doth give to me,
The most exquisite glee." 

"Thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings,
And my financial bounty shall rain upon you, 
As thy merrily entertain."

"Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt the significance
Of our singular evening's bond."

"The course of true love never did run smooth; 
Thy porcelain skin is far smoother.
May I purchase thee a libation?"

"If music be the food of love, then play on,
Play fortissimo, yon insatiable libido."

"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,
Therefore it is unfortunate, that your instability outweighs your beauty."

"One half of me is yours, the other half yours, Mine own, I would say, but if mine, then yours, And so all yours. Even so, your signature must be placed upon this prenuptial agreement."

"When you depart from me, sorrow abides and happinesses takes his leave. I do love watching you depart the room, though." 

"Love is blind,
But my hateful, verbose neighbor,
Sees my hiding mistress,
With the eyesight of a thousand men."