#1. @LibOwnage69420
If it’s grammar you’re looking for, you’ve come to the wrong place. LibOwnage69420 has come to chew bubblegum and make fun of libtards, and guess what, buddy—he’s all out of bubblegum. He’ll spam your page with sociology TikToks posted by millennial cat moms, accompanied by captions like, “Dumb Snowflake doesn’t know about the economony! LOL!” With a half-finished GED and a boatload of confidence, if he’s not telling off the libs, he’s probably flirting with an OnlyFans engagement bot.
#2. Jon_Staley1976
Jon is the type of neighbor who sits on his porch all day, staring at the house across the street. One day, you think, “Oh man, I feel bad for Mr. Staley, sitting on his porch all alone. Maybe I should bring him some lemonade.” So you bring him some homemade lemonade and ask if you can sit with him. You two talk about the gold old days but his eyes don’t leave the house across the street. After a while and a couple of strange remarks made, you start to wonder, “Is he being racist, or is he just old?”—until he says, “Ya know, son, this neighborhood was better before the colored folk moved in over there.” And then you realize he’s been planning, Something. He mostly just retweets Republican senators.
#3. Cringelord.elite
Age? 14. Political ideology? Whatever his older sister isn’t. Cringelord spends most of his day playing League of Legends—and trust me, he learned every slur he knows from that game. His profile picture is the Joker from The Dark Knight, and his entire post history could be documented in a hate speech museum. His dad manages a used car dealership, and his mom has become very well-acquainted with red wine, so to be fair, this was bound to happen. Next time you’re thinking, “Man, this would be better without the condom,” remember: you could have Cringelord.elite as a kid.
#4. Real.Men.Posts
ALPHAS ONLY!!1! Most of the content centers around—yep, you guessed it—hating women. Some dumb broad didn’t say thanks when you held the door open? Probably a slut. A woman denied you because you “aren’t very nice” and you “smell really bad”? It’s because of society brother. Real.Men.Posts uplifts the average man by showing us that we are objectively better than any woman or soyboy that crosses our path—and somehow, they have 2 million followers.
#5. SarBradshaw
God. Family. Tradition. These are Sarah Bradshaw’s values, and she plans to keep ’em! Her husband is the bishop at church, and all eight of her sons are somehow team captain on their small-town football team. Sarah’s post history consists of baking recipes, Bible passages, and posts about how Mexicans are ruining our Southern way of livin’. Was her great-grandpappy a slave owner? You betcha. Sarah is pretty tame and won’t engage in arguments with those rotten atheists, but don’t worry, she definitely says the N word when she’s alone.
#6. RedpillMindset11
Do you think the 2020 election was stolen? How about the vaccines? Do you know, deep down in your heart, that mRNA is just a made-up acronym and that the real vaccines were pumping gay chemicals into your friends and family? Well, look no further than RedpillMindset11! If you think, “Maybe Hillary Clinton is a Satan-worshiping pedophile,” then you’ve only stepped foot in the rabbit hole. After a couple of hours of following this guy, you’ll fully understand that Obama and Bill Gates are part of the New World Order—so you’d better stockpile ammunition before Biden retakes the presidency and enacts martial law.
#7. Adam.smith8921764
If, up until now, you thought, “I am 100% convinced these are all real people and not just rage-bait bots,” this is the moment you stop and think: This might be Russian propaganda.“Adam Smith” can be found in all sorts of comment sections, with sane-minded quotes like “Trump is chosen by God to lead the West.” and “Ukraine are the real Nazi. They are dog.” Somehow, a majority of his replies agree with him, and he’s averaging 500 likes on every comment. Are they all bots? Is everyone a bot? Am I the only human left on X