WASHINGTON—A new study conducted by maternal guardians nationwide suggests that the chips would stay fresh longer if you’d just fold the bag diagonally from the top and crease it before rolling it up. Conducted over a span of 30 years, the longitudinal study revealed that you always leave air in the bag when you close it, and then when it’s stale the next time, you want to open a new bag.
“You have to squeeze the air out each time you fold it,” explained research lead Dianne Wozniak. “Like I said, if you fold the bag diagonally from the top and crease it before rolling it up, the chips will stay fresh longer.”
Subsequent findings indicate that you don’t need to waste $25 on Good Grips when a clothespin seals the bag perfectly fine.
“We’re not Rockefellers over here,” the abstract states.
“Our data shows that you can get a hundred clothespins for $2 at Walgreens with a coupon, and the bag stays just as fresh,” said Wozniak. “So long as you fold the top diagonally and crease it before you roll it up.”
Wozniak’s team received public renown once previously in 2017, when it determined that you have to open the bathroom window when you take a shower, otherwise it gets like a sauna in there.
“Like I said,” the researcher concluded.