CHICAGO—A recent trend suggests that more ectomorphs are riding the tide of at-home fitness solutions, as DIY bodybuilding products have driven industry growth for another quarter. According to analysts, a common reason cited for lifting weights at home is the hope of building enough muscle mass to join a gym and learn to lift weights.
“The barbell set I ordered came with a how-to DVD, which is helpful,” said Dirk Gordon, 36, a periodontist living in Oak Lawn, Ill. “The guy in it says you can bulk up 15 pounds a year if you follow along, so my goal is to join a gym by 2028.”
The ectomorph added: “I should be done writing my novel by then. I want to get nice and toned for when I have to start posing for magazine covers.”
Many who go straight to joining a gym are often plagued by setbacks.
“The X-Sport by me seemed like a good fit at first, because the lighting is bad by the dumbbell rack,” explained public accountant Linus Winslow, 33. “But then one day while I was doing curls, one of the female trainers asked me if I was still using the fifteens, and for a second we made eye contact.”
Forced as a result to leave X-Sport in search of a new gym, Winslow quickly discovered a lack of viable alternatives.
“I tried LA Fitness and Planet Fitness, but they have great lighting,” he said.
The dearth of abandoned, fully equipped exercise venues ultimately led Winslow to take matters into his own hands and buy a Kabuki bar-and-plates set for his studio apartment.
“It’s not so bad,” the CPA mused. “I can even do ab work if I put books on the corners of my yoga mat to keep the flaps from rolling up.”
Regarding the logistics of cardiovascular training, he elaborated: “I’ve been using a jump rope I got at Target. At first it bothered me when paint would chip off from the ceiling and fall in my hair, but honestly I always shower when I’m done anyway. The main thing is to avoid knocking over the floor lamp, because it almost caught fire the last time.”
Despite these home innovations, asthenic males nationwide still nurture a common dream of joining nearby fitness centers in the future.
“Obviously the whole point is to finally join a gym,” said Gordon. “With a gym and a good trainer, you can really get somewhere.”