WASHINGTON—A study released by the Burwell Institute on Monday predicts a surge in economic output at the beginning of the next thirty-minute interval, as tracked by Coordinated Universal Time (UTC). According to the abstract, roughly 800 of the 1,000 survey participants plan to start the projects they’ve been putting off “since forever” at that time.
“We’ll see,” said respondent Jacob Pressman, 37, crossing his fingers. “A lot of times I’ll be listening to a song or something, and when it ends I look and see I’m a minute past the even half-hour rollover. Then I have to wait and try to catch the next one.”
He added: “I hope this time works out so I can finally call Blue Cross about my bill.”
The study confirms long-held beliefs about efficient task management.
“By starting an activity on an even half-hour mark, we’re more likely to finish before the following half-hour mark than if we start at any time afterward, thus maximizing output,” said clinical psychologist and author Thomas Larkin.
Researchers believe that the upcoming productivity boost will give the Federal Reserve a clearer picture of inflation expectations for the rest of the year.
“Once everyone calls their bank and people pay their utilities, it’ll really expand the credit supply,” explained economist Margaret Green.
Still, some continue to weigh alternative courses of action in the event of a shortfall.
“We may just have to get it on the next one,” said Pressman, shrugging.