“The disease is youngsters who are steeped in a culture of violence. They’ve been drugged in many cases. Nearly all of these perpetrators are male. Many of these young boys have been on Ritalin since they were in kindergarten.” – NRA president Oliver North
Ritalin, huh? What are some other scapegoats the NRA has been using to explain these ongoing school shootings?
1. Animal-shaped vita gummies: Regular consumption of animal shapes helps reinforce the message that total destruction of your enemies should be the only goal for young males.
2. Hollywood movies: Sure, these movies are distributed worldwide but they’re more, uhh, influential in America because the language spoken in these films is “American.”
3. Participation trophies: A misguided belief that you’re special just for showing up has turned into a misguided belief that you should show up to a school with a gun.
4. Soy milk: Increased consumption of milk alternatives in recent decades and increased school shootings? We can’t say there isn’t a link.
5. Twitter: Nothing fires up a young man quite like exposure to the continued explosion of liberal nonsense they’ll read on this site.
6. Amazon: How is a young person expected to grow up mentally stable in an environment where some egghead holds an entire country hostage while deciding where to put his company’s second headquarters?
7. Crisis actors: The deaths of school children are the role of a lifetime to this devious band of on-camera emoters.
8. “Killary”: People, it’s right there in her name. If you haven’t seen it, you’re obviously an elite who only reads The Washington Post.
9. Public schools: When was the last time you heard of a school shooting at a charter school? If we outlawed public schools and restricted ourselves to only educating children in religious charter schools, we’d be a lot safer.
10. MS-13: They’re behind all these shootings. We’re certain of it.