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    12 Uses for Your Merkins Once You Retire From Porn

    Kristine LacoBy Updated:No Comments1 Min Read

    Merkins

    1. Gently scouring your non-sticks

    2. Ironic cat toy

    3. Earmuffs

    4. Forget the goats… merkin yoga

    5. Dollhouse area rug

    6. Store in a bag to dry your iPhone

    7. Halloween Super Mario mustache or Spock goatee

    8. A patch for your favorite sweater

    9. Rub with lavender oil and place in your pillow for a good night’s sleep

    10. Tea cosy

    11. Bang extensions

    12. #merkinsofinstagram

     

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    Kristine Laco is a Canadian writer of mediocre humor on her website MumRevised. Her middle finger is her favorite and she lives by the motto that if you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them. She is making turning 50 a job because she doesn't have one. Follow on Twitter, Insta, the Book, and YouTube @mumrevised.

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