“Good evening, general. Pelagia from The Mycenaean Herald. What do you think went wrong tonight?”
“Good evening. First of all, congratulations to the Spartan army for their victory. It has been a tough battle, they have fought like hell and, in the end, they have brought home the Golden Fleece. We didn’t execute well and our guys need to fight with more consistency because it’s going to be a long war and, as I always say, there is no small rival.”
“Here, general. Lykourgos, Marathon Journal. A blow to the Delos League”
“…”
“General?”
“Sorry, I didn’t realize that was the question. Well, the group was really motivated for this battle and they have fought bravely so this narrow defeat has been like an amphora of cold water for them. It’s time to recover, but I’m sure that in no time we will be fighting again in Beocia because there are still many battles left and, you know, it ain’t over till the fat siren sings.”
“Hagne from The Ideal of Corinth. The key to the battle was the superiority of the right flank of the Peloponnesian League, do you think it was wrong to deploy your troops the way you did?”
“I don’t think so. The right wing in hoplitean phalanx formations is crucial, it is the weakest flank, hence the most numerous troops, in this case our Argosian allies, were disposed on that flank. The Argos boys have left everything on the field, literally, many crippled, but it was not enough. There were many factors against us today that we did not expect, but, as I always say, it is what it is.”
“Kallikrates, Colossus Magazine. Don’t you think you should have brought the Thessalian cavalry into the fray earlier? That would have prevented them from changing sides when they saw the Spartan superiority.”
“Here we go again. With all due respect, what school of strategists did you come from? It seems that all of a sudden everyone is a general now, but you know nothing about war. I’m not going to come here and let some little hack give me lessons when he doesn’t even know how to throw a stone with a slingshot. Unbelievable. I’m tired of people like you making a living out of looking down on professionals. I’m not going to tolerate this. Vultures. That’s enough, man. Next question.”
“Agathon from The Argos Times. What is your opinion on the performance of the gods in this battle?”
“You know I don’t like to talk about the gods because, at the end of the day, they are doing their job too, right? But well, the truth is that four sudden lightning bolts struck right in the middle of our hoplites… I don’t know. And right after that, a gale sinks three of our triremes and none of the Spartan… I mean, I don’t think it’s fair.”
“Do you consider that Zeus and the assistant deities have directly harmed your army?”
“Look, facts are facts and anyone can consult the bards’ songs that narrate what happened in the battle. If the Polis considers taking it to the oracle and make a claim… That’s not in my hand. I’m just saying that if the lightning thing doesn’t happen we might be talking about a different outcome now.”
“Kleitos from αβγ. After this resounding failure of Athenian democracy, yet another one, don’t you think Pericles should resign and recognize that taking on Sparta and its allies in the Peloponnese was a mistake?”
“Not at all. Look, I cannot be other than grateful to the boss, he has always been good to us. That’s why we’re going to fight till the end to win this war for him. I think that the project he has initiated is really promising and the citizens of Athens are very excited with it.”
“Tiresias, live for all the seers subscribed to the Apollo’s Lineage channel. Do you believe a comeback is possible?”
“I don’t know, you tell me, hehe. Absolutely. We are confident about our chances and I know that the guys are not going to throw in the toga so easily. And to the Athenians I say: don’t be fooled, they are fooling some of you and I don’t like it. Don’t listen to those doomsayers who think we are finished. As I always say, never stop believing.”