“I saw the need for a special Windows 11 edition targeting those who thrive when their goals and intentions are thwarted,” Rajesh Jha explained, “and asked Pavan Davuluri to have his program designers devise the most infuriating iteration of Windows 11 yet.”
While psychiatrically certified masochists are sure to be early adopters of the new OS, anyone who has ever contacted Microsoft to complain can expect to find the new Windows 11 installed on their device after an automatic update scheduled for an unspecified, future date.
“Those crybabies will never know when it’s coming, so their anticipatory anxiety should prove unbearable,” Jha chuckled. “They’ll be afraid not to finish projects and will work around the clock in panic, knowing their computers are destined to crash. Then they’ll be forced to buy new Windows systems.”
When asked if he didn’t worry customers might defect to Apple, Jha shrugged. “Sure, a few undoubtedly will, but think of what we’ll save on customer service.”