Dear HGTV, Look, I agreed to be on the Property Brothers’ show Property Brothers because my wife goes fucking apeshit for those guys and I couldn’t tell her no. So Jonathan and Drew Scott found a house and fixed that shit right up for us. I’ll admit they did one hell of a job. This place is dope as fuck and I feel like a goddamn king when I come home. But it’s been three months since they finished shooting, and it is high time for the Property Brothers to get the fuck out of my house. Every night while…
Author: Adrienne Teeley
Adrienne Teeley
Adrienne is a writer and comedian living in Chicago. She is half of the writing duo Not Your Mother's Baby.
Get ready to send your man into hyperdrive! Whether you’re rewarding him for doing something around the house or simply want to spice things up, we’ve got a bold new move that will drive him out of his mind with lust and make him go certifiably insane with pleasure. “If you really want to violently catapult him over the edge of sexual intoxication, try touching his dick,” says Dr. Carol Coseta, a sex therapist in New York City. “We’re not quite sure what the science is behind it, but we do know that when his dick is touched, he’ll find…