Drowned victims of the Titanic, we just wanted to say: we see you. We hear you. You’re upset because you were forced to go back to your rooms and lay in bed while the room around you filled with water, while we got our own personal lifeboats on which to escape. We understand this might be troubling to you. But at the end of the day, it’s important to remember: we are on your side. We are all on the ship together. Not anymore since it’s sinking, but we were at one point. We hate that you drowned to death…
Author: Amy Currul
Amy Currul
Amy Currul is a humor writer living in Brooklyn, New York. She tackles subjects such as menstruation, food, the monster we all call capitalism, and the ridiculous behaviors white women have deemed acceptable. She has studied writing at The Second City and accepts payment in the form of puppy snuggles.
Do you have just too much money and you don’t know what to do with it? Me too! Here are some online stores trying to sell you some shit you don’t need. Swill You’ve probably heard of our sister site, Goop. A $70 jade egg for your vagina? Vitamins that are definitely not FDA approved? A skincare line that will give you hives in all the wrong places? That’s Goop! At Swill, we sell the exact same fucking products, just with different labels. Crystals are now “healing energy talismans,” protein powder is called “inner beauty serum,” and lotion can be…