We’re in the midst of some hot outlet sales, which means many stores have cheap kitchen appliances available. It looks like one store has outdone all the rest this year: Williams-Sonoma has announced that each of their Crock-Pots on sale has the soul of a mother trapped inside and she’s super late for a PTA meeting. Awesome! Who doesn’t love a two-for-one deal? “Mothers know just what you need when you’re having a rough day,” said Karl Antonoff, sales executive of Williams-Sonoma. “That’s why we trapped a soul of a mother in each of our crockpots in the discount section.…
Author: Arianna Durnell
Arianna Durnell
Arianna is a New York-based comedian who contributes to the satirical sites Reductress and The Higgs Weldon. She is currently performing and writing sketch comedy in the duo Bag Of Rocks and was named one of Mogul’s comedians to look out for in 2018.
It’s been rough lately, so it’s okay that you aren’t making much progress in therapy. Try out one of these synonyms for sad to make your therapist go “Oh wow” in an impressed way – not a concerned way like normal. 1. Dejected Throw this synonym for sad at Dr. Aman and she’s going to be saying things like “Whoa SAT word alert” instead of “Have you started to forgive your mother?” because you absolutely have not! Now you look really smart and not at all emotionally stunted. 2. Forlorn When you’re talking about how you haven’t found joy in…