Oscar winner Leonardo DiCaprio’s neighbor went public yesterday with the shocking accusation that DiCaprio “looked at [her] weird one time,” causing all of her crops that season to wither in the fields. When asked whether her crops’ unfortunate fate could have been due to last year’s unseasonably fickle weather, the neighbor (who has chosen to remain anonymous) said she was “pretty sure” that wasn’t it. Experts are working hard to give DiCaprio’s aura a thorough sage cleansing, but if that doesn’t work, public hanging is always an option. During a recent red carpet interview, after being prompted to talk a…
Author: Astrid Johnson-Krause
Astrid Johnson-Krause
Astrid Johnson-Krause is deathly afraid that anything she says here is going to come off as a desperate attempt to sound funny, so she’ll leave it at this. Follow her on Instagram @holdencaulfieldsheadlice.