A Crazy-Ass Weasel Hat Will Be Worn By a Crazy, Weaselly Asshat A socialite will don a colossal hat comprised of live weasels, drawing the eye to her finest asset: a girthy, rippling neck that bolsters the hat with ease. The accoutrement will allude to her husband’s rat extermination business, which employs hundreds of highly-specialized weasels, and continues to amass a sizable fortune for Mr. and Mrs. Asshat. The crème de la crème will whisper that the Asshats weaseled their way into high society by underpaying their non-unionized, tube-shaped staff. One discourteous weasel will escape the confines of the hat…
Author: Cassidy Cummings
Cassidy Cummings
Cassidy Cummings is a freelance writer and a contributor to Reductress. She lives in a small mountain town where the mortuary decorates for Halloween and Christmas.