1. “How does a green bean have sex?” 2. “How does a green bean have sex with a human celebrity?” 3. “If a green bean had human genitals, would that be weird?” 4. “If a green bean had sex, would it be cool to call it green boning? Green beaning?” 5. “Is it normal for a green bean to be attracted to his 42-year-old math tutor?” 6. “If a green bean has sex outside, is it still exhibitionism, or is it gardening?” 7. “Are my beans my balls or are they just beans? And if so, what are my balls?”…
Author: Cassidy Graham
Cassidy Graham
Cassidy Graham is a writer living in NYC. She works in book publishing and loves comedy a lot. You can find her on Twitter @cass_master_.
When I was a senior in high school I was cast in the school musical Curtains, so I got to mingle with freshmen all the time and feel really superior. One of the freshmen, Katie Mundy, came up to me and said, “You know, I used to think you were a bitch, but you’re actually pretty cool.” I was like, “What? Why did you think I was a bitch?” And she said, “I don’t know. You just look like one.” Naturally I tried to then change my appearance, so I wouldn’t look like such a bitch. I went online and searched “How…