Author: Daniel Gerardinee

Mr. Bond, We’ve made a name for ourselves in this industry by being direct. That being said, we will no longer be renting our tuxedos to you. We can look beyond the bloodstains. Hell, we can even look beyond the bullet holes. What we cannot look beyond, however, is the semen. There is simply too much of it. Listen, we’re not naive. We always expect our tuxedos to be returned with a little bit of semen on them. It’s an occupational hazard. Unfortunately – for the both of us – there’s a lot of semen on yours. In fact, it…