Author: David Finch

Throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. That’s why, after the most successful presidency in history ended – with an election that was rigged and stolen from me, by the way – I was looking forward to spending my time in retirement at Mar-a-Lago relaxing with some theoretical nuclear physics calculations. When I was president, frankly, I was disappointed in the quality of the nuclear physicists in the government. I asked our country’s physicists, “Why can’t you be more smart and loyal, like the physicists that worked on the atomic…

Sure, wearing a mask over your nose and mouth can stop the transmission of a potentially deadly disease, but it’s also a minor inconvenience! What right do minimum wage employees have to inconvenience YOU, just to protect the health and safety of the public? Clearly there is only one possible response: verbally abusing them as loudly as possible. But yelling at them isn’t as simple as it sounds! Here are some tips to help you get through it. Do yell at minimum wage employees in front of your children! It’s a great way to set a good example and teach them an important lesson about…