1. The stupid adorable way your dog Banjo begs for treats. 2. That sweet new Honda RAV4 you’ve been eyeing. 3. How you’d rather buy a Mercedes. 4. How you used to be edgy but no one understood your rape jokes were “satire.” 5. It’s surprising that Richard Spencer, self-appointed leader of the alt-right, only seems to eat Thai food. 6. For the record, he’s a white nationalist, #NotANazi. 7. Your Whole30 diet. 8. Your CrossFit workouts. 9. That time you got blood poisoning from CrossFit. 10. How not being able to say the N-word infringes on your first amendment freedoms. 11. Why can’t you just sing it like, one time,…
Author: Erica Lies
Erica Lies
Erica Lies is a writer and comedian in Austin, Texas. Her non-fiction work has appeared in Splitsider, Bitch, Rookie Mag, and The Hairpin.
1. Click “love” instead of “like” on Facebook posts decrying racial injustice. 2. Donate $5 to Black Lives Matter. Now brag about donating to Black Lives Matter. 3. Attend a BLM rally or protest and offer your services as a chant leader. When someone else leads, kindly tell them how much activism experience you got being in the drum circle at Occupy Wall Street between shifts at your unpaid New York internship. 4. Actually listen to the struggles of people of color in their dealings with law enforcement, nod, and quote the Macklemore lyric it reminds you of. 5. Call Adrienne, your only black…