On Vacation Thanks for your message. I’ve been told that spending time with people in my life outside of professional colleagues in a relaxed, non-home setting is advisable and may increase my productivity. I know that my return to the office, where your email will be waiting along with hundreds of others, is inevitable and will be more painful than if I simply decided to remain at work. I will reply upon my return on July 29, and will continue to reply to all emails in a timely manner until my death. On Business Travel Thanks for the note. Please…
Author: Ezgi Üstündağ
Ezgi Üstündağ
Ezgi Üstündağ was born in upstate New York but did most of her growing up in Ames, Iowa.
1. Friends who will notice and comment on your use of “repatriating” rather than the less worldly “coming home.” 2. Friends who will ask you to name out loud, while simultaneously counting along on their fingers, all the countries you’ve visited. 3. Friends who want you to explain the difference between the EU, Eurozone, and Schengen Area to them. If they occasionally mix them up and give you an opportunity to re-explain with strangers present, even better! 4. Friends who will carefully repeat after you each time you reveal the correct pronunciations of European cities: Pair-ee, Pra-ha, Buda-pesht, Krak-oof. Furthermore,…
By the time you and the other sheeple wandered over here from security, slowed by your fascination with skylights and moving walkways, I was already in place. Right here, approximately four triangle-covered carpet squares from the gate counter. I earned my place, and I’m sure as hell not going to let you or anyone else get on this plane before me. Am I flying first class, business plus, economy deluxe, or on Sky Platinum Gold Miles Rewards Points? Fuck no. I’m too smart to spend that much money. Today I’m in Group Three, but I’m always number one. (And don’t…
The idea to volunteer at the food bank, I told my coworkers, came to me in a dream: I was standing on the bed of a pickup throwing granola bars at children with swollen bellies. (I had to clarify that their bellies were swollen because they were hungry.) It was important that Brad and Brock knew I had a good reason for skipping our Friday afternoon rendezvous in the break room, during which we discussed colleagues who weren’t in the break room. But I made sure to keep it under wraps until lunch on Thursday, thereby ensuring that I alone…