Author: Harry Laird

According to a new study analyzing over 500 scary movies, researchers have concluded that the key to avoiding dying at the hands of a psychopathic killer, deranged monster, or possessed demon is simple: stay away from houses.   “Think about it,” said lead researcher Tiffany Clarkson, “What was the last horror flick you saw that took place in an apartment? It’s almost always a home! Halloween. Friday the 13th. Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The list goes on and on. Whether it’s a secluded lakeside cabin, or a run-of-the-mill suburban split-level, monsters show a strong predilection for these types of dwellings.” The…

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) The original film’s happy-go-lucky journey through the streets of Chicago gets the Ari Aster treatment in this morbid commentary on self-liberation. Ferris (Timothée Chalamet) and Sloane (Alexa Demie) convince Cameron (Kelvin Harrison Jr.) to engage in increasingly violent behavior, from robbing an elderly woman to assaulting Principal Rooney. Cameron’s iconic moment of introspection, originally in front of Seurat’s A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte, takes place instead in front of Goya’s Saturn Devouring His Son. The film crescendos with Ferris urging Cameron to commit patricide while a chilling rendition of “Twist…