Guy, What the fuck is your name? Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Whatever your name is, dude, bravo. Bravo. I’ve participated in a shitload of manshakes in my lifetime and nothing compared to what we just did. It wasn’t a typical, run-of-the-mill manshake, which is essentially just a hybrid high-five/handshake. Hell, it was even better than the original, alpha male manshake made famous by Arnold Schwarzenegger and Carl Weathers in Predator. What we made together was art, man, pure nirvana. And not the Kurt Cobain Nirvana either, I’m talking about that Buddhist transcendental shit. It’s been three hours since our manshake,…
Author: Josh Lorenzo
Josh Lorenzo
Josh Lorenzo is a part-time humor writer featured in various places, such as McSweeney's and The Washington Post. He writes a regular satirical column, "Don't Feed the Animals" at Political Animal Magazine. He also has a blog at www.theauthorofsarcasm.com. He lives is in suburban Maryland with his wife and two children.
Wood Mill Pre-K Dragons: 3 Ford Early Day School Titans: 2 The highly anticipated championship game between the juggernaut Dragons of Wood Mill Pre-K and the resilient Titans of Ford Early Day School did not disappoint the dozen in attendance. Both teams started a combined 0-11 from the field before Wood Mill pulled ahead when their star point guard, Little Tommy Feigner, hit a one-foot jump shot from the left baseline. He immediately went to hug his best friend and shooting guard Jaden Miller, as their exasperated coach, Josh Feigner, implored them to stop hugging each other until after the…