Square Eyes: From staring at my computer all day, where all information is now stored. Gaping Mouth: From constantly yapping about my “problems” and my “issues.” Red, Itchy, and Dry Cheeks: Sensitive skin isn’t the only thing I have; I am also way too sensitive about racism, sexism, and all the other -isms. Tiny and Deformed Ears: From ignoring my parents about how to dress, who to vote for, and who to love (aka becoming my own person). Flimsy Head: A light and vacant head that only has great selfie poses and Kardashian facts stored in it, despite having a…
Author: Kasadee Allan
Kasadee Allan
Kasadee Allan is a Canadian comedy writer based in rural New Brunswick who has studied at Second City. Her work can be found on the BuzzFeed Community, Twitter, and in her journal, which is definitely NOT a diary. She has also never been accused of smiling too much. You can find her on Twitter @Just_Kas and on her website at kasadeeallan.com.
Hi honey, how are you? It is so good that you were able to make it home for the holidays this year. I know how busy your boss keeps you, and your father and I are both so happy to have you home. Now, I am sure you may have noticed something that is a little bit different this holiday season. There is no joy. Christmas has always been such a wonderful time of year full of peace, love, and joy. But some years these warm sentiments are harder to come by than others. And this year has been a…
While at work, walk to your coworker’s cubicle instead of emailing. That way the two of you can check to see if mental health is covered under your company’s insurance. Take the stairs. While taking the extra time, spread the word about gun violence anywhere you can, including Twitter, with the #Enough hashtag. Walk with your neighbor when she takes out her dog. Have an open and honest conversation about gun rights versus gun control. Set reminders to walk. While on your phone, go to the Everytown website and donate to fight for safer gun laws. When walking, do so at a high…
Hey there potential student! Feeling down about all those students of color being accepted over you? Even though you worked hard(ish) through high school and got similar grades? Have no fear, for the newest (basically) Ivy League university has just opened. The American Alt-White College is a school for white students who are tired of facing discrimination and racism when it comes to university acceptance. College admission is tough on both sides. That just needs to be stated, and if anyone knows discrimination it is the whites. White students have been going to college for hundreds of years in this…
Hey there Snapchat users! It’s your Snapchat Team with some fun new additions to the Snapchat you already know and love. I am sure many of you already follow users like People and Cosmo to get the latest celeb scoop, but what about that hard-hitting news that is apparently so important to the world? For instance, how about the rising tension between North Korea and the United States that is taking up so much of the Internet right now? Well, now you don’t have to waste precious snapping minutes reading boring articles that have too many names you can’t even…
So you’ve been asked to testify before Congress. You may know something, maybe not, but more than likely, under this administration, all you know are lies, and you don’t know if you should share those or not. However, there are ways of revealing unimportant details to the senators without perjuring yourself, or admitting any Russian influence. Explain Your Entire Backstory Before you can even think about revealing any detrimental secrets, the committee would probably love to have a complete history of where you come from. That way they understand what you say by how you say it. Say it in…