How do you pronounce “turmeric?” White people certainly have a lot of ways to pronounce it, none of which are correct. But let’s see what they’ve got: Tremor-risk? Term-ick? Turnt-it? (I heard that on Drag Race!) Turkey-sandwich! Tall-half-caff-pumpkin-spice-oatmilk-latte! (Intermittent-fasting-brain-fog-fit) Oh yeah, how do you pronounce that spice again? Tamarind? T-(gurgling noises)-c? Two-demerits? Terminate-Eric? (Sorry bro, but TWO demerits?) Terminator-Blu-ray-disc? The-Titanic! Tomb-Raider-pit? Terminal-asterisk? Temporal-rhetoric? Turn-of-the-century’s-literary-influence-of-the-esoteric? Turn-U.S.-measuring-units-to-metric? Turned-traitor! Tur-’merica! (Imperial system of measurement 4EVA!) Turn-back-time? (If I could find a way/I’d take back those words that have hurt you/And you’d stay) Toad-the-Wet-Sprocket-hit? Ohhh-Stevie-Nicks! T-(murmuring)-k? Matthew-Broderick? Matthew-Broderick!? Matthew Broderick.
Author: Katherine Shaw
Katherine Shaw
Katherine (she/her) lives somewhere in the Pacific Northwest and doesn't enjoy nature as much as you'd think. Words in Slackjaw, Weekly Humorist, Little Old Lady Comedy, The Haven, and more. Twitter/IG @daclassybiatch.