“Do not use conditioner in your hair because it will bind radioactive material to your hair, keeping it from rinsing out easily.” – Ready.gov, “During a Nuclear Blast” What’s hot this season, besides our smoldering cities? Never fear, we’ve got the scoop! Right now it’s all about comfortable chic – light layers and day-to-night looks that fit your lifestyle, whether you’re sheltering in place or running for your life. Fabrics are stretchy, for easy removal at the first sign of a bright flash. Hair is flowing and natural; leave off the conditioner, as it weighs down your mane and holds…
Author: Katie Burgess
Katie Burgess
Katie Burgess lives in South Carolina, where she performs with Alchemy Comedy Theater and serves as editor-in-chief of Emrys Journal.
It’s almost time to see – what’s it going to be? An ambitious little he, or a bossy little she? What’s in store for your your bundle of joy? Will it be hair bows or bow ties? Glitter or guns? Earning seventy-seven cents on the dollar or dying early of a stroke? Finding out is a joyful moment that you’ll definitely want to share with family, friends, Carol from your car pool – the list goes on! Here are some ideas to make your children’s-genitalia-themed party the best! 1. Pre-planning: Have your ultrasound technician send a top-secret note describing your…
So while you were distracted by the president’s latest tweet, I hope you know your state attorney generals went and sold your Social Security numbers for Candy Crush points. And while you were distracted by the Student Loan Debtors’ Prisons™, the USDA added coal as a fifth food group. And while everyone was up in arms over the new $50 bills featuring a picture of Ted Nugent taking a dump on the AIDS quilt, I see none of you even bothered to mention North Korea testing its first weather machine. Do you realize that while you were all reposting those…