Company, product, and slogan rebrands offer insight into what might reveal “the euphemistic soul orlack thereof” of brands impacting consumers. Twitter is now “X” (No signature or truth claim required?); Google is now “Alphabet” (Cyrillic for hackers?); Dunkin’ Donuts just “Dunkin’” (Drunken?); Weight Watchers “WW” (dropping a few?); Toys‘R’ Us “Geoffey’s Toy Box” (the giraffe ate the ‘R’?); Facebook “Meta” (is the hoopster formerly knownas Ron Artest CEO? Should we call it Meta World?); Smith and Wesson Brands “American OutdoorBrands” (their guns don’t kill indoors too?); and World Wrestling Federation “World WrestlingEntertainment” (of course it’s staged, though confusing WWF with…
Author: Ken Hogarty
Ken Hogarty
Dr. Ken Hogarty, who lives in SF’s East Bay with his wife Sally, retired after a 46-year career as a high school teacher and principal. Since, he has had stories, essays, memoirs, and comedy pieces published in Underwood, Sport Literate, Under Review, Sequoia Speaks, Woman’s Way, Purpled Nails, the S.F. Chronicle, McQueen’s, Points in Case, Glossy News, The Satirist, and Good Old Days. His novel, Recruiting Blue Chip Prospects recently launched to good reviews. You can preview the novel or check out other works at Kenhogarty.net.
Apparently, Economics Trumps Math, Geography, and Integrity. High school college counselor Frank Francis anticipates his initial school year meeting with senior Dickie Dweeb, a good bet to gain admission to “a plethora of top-notch colleges and universities,” maybe as many as that kid who had made the reputation of Frank’s departmental rival. An updated list of AP scores notes Dickie scored 5s in AP Human Geography and AP Precalculus, with a 4 earned previously in AP Macroeconomics. After a fumbled catch-up about summer, Dweeb shocks Francis: “You know, I’m a big-time college football fan.” Dickie’s follow-up sends Francis, veins popping…
“Avoid Taking Shite or Being Told to Feck Off” Rationalize that the first Guinness you drink will provide you a “meal in a glass,” leaving your stomach impervious to more alcohol. Order a “Black and Tan” instead of a “half and half,” fanning the flames of ancient animosities toward 1920’s British recruited Black and Tan constables. Blurt “Faith and Begorrah,” as if you use the expression when sober. Sport a “Kiss my ass, I’m Irish” pin. Act pompous, like a Limey with a shillelagh up his ass. Reach for your Guinness when it’s still settling on the bar. Perform “Danny…
1. Urinal Pitch Clock (sensors in enlarged foot bases under urinal start the clock) • 15-20 second hold without release: get struck to the back of the waiting line 2. Universal Designated Shitter (a reserved luxury box for non-VIP fans) • Reserve a time and a stall in the women’s restroom online from the stands 3. Ghost Runner Concession Place Holder (step in when your ghost runner’s 2nd in line) • Long lines at concession stands? No misgivings or extra innings to start 2nd 4. Pitch Com Wristbands (makes ordering merchandise or betting on every pitch timely) • With two…
ESPN’s Joe Lunardi has already published several bracket projections for 2024’s NCAA Basketball Tourney, predictions to be updated periodically until Selection Sunday next year. You can, however, place bets right now on our Draft Paupers’ site, with odds reflected by Lunardi’s brackets, about who will get selected, advance, win their way into the final four, and ultimately be the only one left standing. Bet early and bet often as Joe’s brackets evolve in the lead-up to next year’s March Madness. As an added service and giving you something almost as important upon which to bet, below find the first reveal…