1. She once ordered from the Cheesecake Factory Fit N’ Flirty cocktail menu. 2. She has a generally gregarious personality and can sometimes be seen smiling. 3. She went all in on the matte nail polish trend. 4. She went on one date with my buddy Justin last year and never told him about an assault – not even during dessert. 5. Her voice is louder than the gentle whisper of sycamore trees. 6. She’s really into masculine candle scents like sandalwood. 7. She got caught necking with Chaz Allendorf on the Parkview High School football field in 1991. 8. She’s pursuing…
Author: Lillian Stone
Lillian Stone
Lillian Stone is a Midwest-based journalist, bitter satirist and Boston Terrier wrangler. Her writing can be found in McSweeney's, Weekly Humorist and several Midwestern lifestyle publications. Follow Lillian on Twitter at @lstone94.