Author: David Mogan

Here’s the deal: Things are a bit different in Kentucky. There’s bluegrass, blue moons, and, wouldn’t you know it, blue people. That’s right, we’re talking folks with complexions that would put Violet Beauregarde and Nightcrawler to shame. It’s all because of something I can’t spell without copy and pasting called Methemoglobinemia. What happens is that the blood of those affected receives an abundance of methemoglobin, changing its consistency, which in turn alters skin tone. For folks of the Caucasian persuasion, this results in skin that, according to the color wheel, would be referred to as “blue.” The gene can be…

Here’s the deal: Monsters come in many forms. From vampires to aliens to clowns to amorphous blobs to giant rabbits, horror films have featured just about every creature imaginable slicing and/or dicing teenagers and others. And since horror films have been made for over a century, and every year there are more horror films released than possibly any other genre, it becomes exponentially difficult to shock or surprise a horror audience with a new creature. Horror fans are like meth heads, each year anxiously hoping the studios deliver up some Heisenberg-level crystal. So if you’re a horror fan in the…

Here’s the deal: There aren’t enough good anthology shows. Since Rod Serling mastered the technique in the 1950s-60s with The Twilight Zone and proved what could be achieved in the format, there haven’t been many worthwhile successors. Shows like Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Tales from the Darkside, Tales of the Unexpected and Serling’s own Night Gallery were often more bland or bad than they were good, and even a standout like Tales from the Crypt only had a few really great episodes, the rest always being hindered by the required tongue-in-cheek tone of the series. Since I love the anthology format,…

Here’s the deal: Biopics rarely do it for me. I’ve found most either play too fast and loose with the truth, disrespecting their subjects, or are too slavish to the truth, creating a pretty boring point A to point B type of story. A better third option as I see it is when a biopic takes the truth and elevates it, making a person’s life represent something meaningful. You could make a biopic of Mr. Clean for God’s sake as long as his life was representative of our fight against decay and entropy or something. Tim Burton’s Ed Wood did…

Here’s the deal: I don’t like many of David Lynch’s films, but I’m glad he exists. Of his filmed work, I really appreciate his handling of The Elephant Man story/play and I love the twisted and poetic horror that is Eraserhead, but much of the rest of his work I find too self-indulgent to enjoy. But damn if the guy isn’t interesting. With news of a Twin Peaks revival happening, Lynch is back in the zeitgeist, ready to fill our lives with more backward-talking dreams and dancing unicorns. I wish him well on the project and I hope it can “repair”…

John Mulaney is one of the best stand-ups working today. If you look up any of his sets or specials, what you’ll find is carefully crafted bits with precision delivery. Along with Bill Hader, he also created and co-wrote the character Stefon, one of SNL’s best recent bits. He knows what he’s doing and he does it very well. Which is why it’s not only sad but confusing for me to say that his new sitcom, Mulaney, is simply not good. Like, at all. The premise of the show finds Mulaney playing a version of himself, a struggling comedian with…

Here’s the deal: Sequels get a bad name. While it’s true that, every year, Hollywood churns out plenty of pandering and carbon-copy sequels for cash grabs, those practices shouldn’t be allowed to become our definition of what a sequel is. At its core, the presence of a sequel (or prequel, reboot, preboot or rebootquel) is that we, the audience, enjoy a given world and set of characters enough to want to visit them again. And though the onslaught of Transformers, Fast and the Furious and Saw movies continues to assault us, we can’t forget that sequels have also brought us…

Here’s the deal: Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. So says Michael Douglas in that oft-quoted deconstruction/glamorization of ‘80s culture, Wall Street. This is why treasure, be it lost or buried, is an appealing concept for most folks. And yet, I would argue that greed alone does not generate the excitement. Quite often, the story at the center is much more appealing than the riches themselves, if only for the fact that most people who learn about famous booty are never going to share in the eventual spoils. Lousy Democrats. The Amber Room is such a treasure.…

Here’s the deal: Dr. Seuss was a pinko commie and I love him for it. Growing up, I, like most of us, came to Seuss’ works through books like The Cat in the Hat, One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, A People House, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas. But it was only later, as I read certain books I had never come across before, and read up on Seuss’ intentions, did the man go from being a great illustrator and whimsical storyteller to being a surprisingly insightful artist. For instance, many of his books operate not only…

Here’s the deal: There are few things in this world that everyone agrees upon. Sunsets are pretty. The Return of the King had too many endings. Pizza is just the best. And while shoving greasy meat and cheese triangles into our mouths is the closest to true happiness most of us will ever achieve, it is strange that pizza’s status as a cultural constant is not regularly shouted from the mountaintops, or even the airwaves. There is a famous pop song about Paula Abdul fucking a cartoon cat, but no rockabilly tune called “Pizza Boogie” or a sappy country song…