Dear American Joe, Thank you for ordering more shit than you will ever need. Your kid’s plastic Paw Patrol toys will survive long after the last human dies from the future Alien Syphilian Sex Party. This is my final letter and only warning to you, American Joe. Save yourself before us Gods spread our seed through the land, and the world becomes overrun by junk mail, ESTDs, and bastard children. You may think I only carry your mail, that I’m some regular schmuck in a coffee-splashed, polyester blue uniform designed in the 70s, traipsing around having casual sex with everyone in…
Author: Luke Streich
Luke Streich
Luke is a writer and improvisor located in State College, PA. He performs with Happy Valley Improv and moonlights with the critically acclaimed Hiram and an Aluminum Pole. Comedy is what he does when he's not delivering mail.