With the increase in self-quarantines, people around the world are spending more time communicating with friends and family through video services like Zoom. But with a lack of social events and the assumption of availability, the days of using simple excuses to get out of things are long gone, and we need new ways to cancel plans like we used to. So here are twenty totally real, totally convincing excuses to get out of Zoom calls: 1. I have six other Zoom parties I have to attend tonight. Sorry, we made these plans pre-COVID. 2. I have to go wash…
Author: Matt Frierdich
Matt Frierdich
Matt is a writer and comedian living in Chicago, IL. He does improv, sketch, and stand-up at venues like iO, Second City, Annoyance, and more. You can find his work & comedy at MatthewFrierdich.com.
Many articles have been written to help Earthlings feel better about the current state of their world. However, no articles have been written to help extraterrestrials pretending to be Earthlings feel better about the current state of their world, and frankly, we are offended. It can be easy to feel disconnected, isolated, or not like yourself during a global emergency on a planet so far from your own. So If you want to feel more “human” during the COVID-19 pandemic, here are eight easy tips: 1. Get Dressed Every Morning Even if you don’t expect to be in public, remember…
As I laid in bed, my feet protruded out of the bottom of my gown. I stared at them and my now hairless legs. My eyes moved to my arm with a needle stuck in, leading to IV tubes dripping liquids into my body. I closed them and stared into the blackness, fighting the pain and sickness as I thought about time, life, and death. It was only recently I even had to start to think about what comes next. I had no answers, and to be honest, I was terrified. I opened my eyes and looked around the silent,…
Dear President Trump: On Friday, June 2, you held a meeting finalizing details for the on-again, off-again summit with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un to discuss disarmament and peace between the United States and North Korea. As you know, there was a photo taken of you with senior North Korean official Kim Yong-chol in the Oval Office as he presented you with a rather large envelope containing an oversized letter with details for the upcoming summit in Singapore. And although many view envelopes as an outdated relic of the current mail system, we consider them the equivalent of first impressions,…